There are tons of people out there that blog, and they write some really fantastic ones (Hello, Marc Palmer) and I can't help but wonder... how. You know. I read the myspace blog months after I've last written in it and I really just have kind of a hard time comprehending, I guess. There are literally years worth of entries in that thing by now and everything something new and exciting happens with the band it goes in the myspace blog one way or another, whether I've written it myself or not. But I was looking at it just now and it's all sort of career things, which isn't such a bad thing but personally, when I want to look back on my life I want to look back on more than selling out an arena or having a record. Period. It's not that I'm not happy with my life. (Someone slap me if I ever say that.) It's got more to do with the fact that in the past nine or so months my life has been particularly crazy, and not always just in a professional sense. I have had fights with anyone I could possibly have fights with. I've been in and out of a relationship (that was sort of weird.) and I've discovered parts of people I just... never really knew were there. My little sister is having a baby really soon and I'm afraid it'll happen while the band is off making some appearance, and I won't get to be here and... I really really really want to be here when the newest little Barclay makes his or her appearance into the world. I've spent a long time on the road now, for someone who's just turned 21 years old. I'm not complaining about it. I wouldn't have my life any other way but there's prices that I've paid to be able to have the life I always always always wanted to have. I'm not going into it. I don't want this to become a festival of whining. I just... wanted to stop and breathe and remember why I don't need to whine.
I am home. My bed is a comfortable mess and I can hear the rain beating on the windows of my living room. It's cold in here, and that's comforting.
Like I said in one of these before (and I know you guys know about this now) proper Barclay updates at the myspace page and on the website. A whirlwind of excitement is on the rise. I can feel it.