My husband is amazing and said a lot for me when all of this (what is this exactly?) started to go down and I'm grateful for that but I thought you all would like to hear things from me. I'm no secret to letting my fans in on the things that are going on in my life. I'm also no secret to guarding my privacy, because it needs to be protected. That, maybe, is an oxymoron. The truth of all of this is that I simply need a break. I'm not pregnant (I've heard that/been asked too many times the past couple of weeks) nor are August and I planning on having children anytime in the immediate future. We just got married. I'm only 22. I've traveled the world and made successful records. I've been in movies and worked with some amazing people. And I'm only 22.
People keep telling me to imagine what more I could do, because I'm only 22 and I keep telling people to imagine how tired I am, despite all the amazing things that I've been blessed with. I've been reminded more than I've wanted to be in the past year or so that I'm not Superwoman. This comes as a shock to me because that's what I like to tell myself in the mirror in the mornings when I've got a busy, seeemingly endless day ahead of me. "Jayda, you can do this, you're superwoman." It's effective, paired with removing yourself from the situation and pretending you're someone you're not. From then, I watch myself from the outside and hop back into my body when the cameras and interviewers are gone. For a long time, the only place I've been me is on that stage. It's been my safe place, which I guess would explain the outburst that I had that night in St. Louis.
The point of all of this is that I need a break from being stressed. My body still isn't quite the same from all the travelling and it's not ever quite sure that 3am is actually 3am, or is it the afternoon? That probably doesn't make sense. It's been nice to stay in one place and spend time with my family. The other day August and I went out and bought new kitchen plates and a new duvet cover for our bed. It was so shockingly normal that I wanted to cry with happiness. I wish I were exaggerating but I'm not. This is my point. My life has become something so... far removed from real life that I just need a chance to get back. I don't want to write bad records about being on the road, or about being in a band that's falling apart. I want to write about real life and to do that, I need to experience it first.
And now I bring you, the Jayda Laine clean-up crew:
August. This is old, before we were even a couple but it's one of my favourites. I look so fucking young.
Best big brother in the world.
This is my dad. You have no idea how much he means to me. He takes me to Niagara Falls. He sips beers at my shows (and at McG's shows) and he taught me how to play roulette in Minnesota when I was 18. My face is essentially his.
Have you ever had a soulmate? I have two. She's one of them.
Elrawn. He's been an essential part of my life since we met on Warped when we were young and discovered that we were both WoW heads. We're on Rivendare. Come find us. It's the midsummer fire festival and he just became a flamekeeper.